


Flipping the Coin

by ScriptoremAlto



Category: Free!
Genre: Drabble, Established Relationship, I miss free, M/M, Retrospective, old works, thE PAIN IS REAL
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-03-26 01:03:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13846776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScriptoremAlto/pseuds/ScriptoremAlto
Summary: If you’re tired and you can’t pursueafter your dreams anymore,Hold on tight and let me carry you in my back.We shall share the burden among ourselves--I shall chase after them with you.For you.





	Flipping the Coin

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Brave Song (Angel Beats)  
> Soooo I'm back here, but I'm just kinda importing my works from Tumblr after realizing OH GOD I MISS FREE!  
> I miss my boys. I miss my Free! friends :( Anyway, enjoy! -YUKI

 

**PART I: RIN**      
 

     He could feel strength of the current right in his fingertips.

     Matsuoka Rin was no beginner when it comes to swimming; he was someone who could understand water among others, he had been acquainted to it ever since he could remember—of course, with the exception of Nanase Haruka who had befriended it and is born with the uncoupled mastery—but that has always been out of the question ever since their unprecedented reconciliation a couple of years back. Unlike in the past when he had been haunted by his limits, Rin had reunited with the stroke that has always been his personal best: the butterfly, which came with the decision to pursue his own dreams, to follow the footsteps of his own, all leading up to this particular moment.

     The sensation of the surface tension slapping against his palms with every breakthrough made him smile widely while he glided; his undulations were as smooth yet as dynamic as they could go, aided by the adrenaline pumping all throughout his bloodstream. His heart drummed as hard as his high elbows could propel him past the other competitors and his breath was kept in suave spurts as his recovery.  _I got this, I got this,_ he thought as he kicked and surfaced in cycles, and maybe to showcase himself with the crowd that were going wild to cheer him on—all eyes focused in lane number five, where he carried the pride of their country in this rare opportunity.

     Just a little more and he would be  _there_ , he was in third after the flip. The stroke became more frantic underwater and gentler in the tenth of a second he spends mid-air, his scarlet gaze behind his goggles focused only on the dark markers on the end of the lane. A few strokes more, another 50 meters worth of riding the waves; he strove and sprinted, not even bothering to take in as much air as he could, pushing himself to the limits so that he could lay his hand against that wall ahead of others.

     After that wee bit of realization, the stadium suddenly erupted with victory, the kind where they were roaring their hearts out in mirth and gratitude for his hard work. The atmosphere swelled with the congratulatory moved as Japan got a seed in the semi-finals by winning this heat and the air was thick with pride and acclamation that it could be  _smelled_.

     Rin’s whole being shook with ultimate joy,  there was no room for containment–

     And  _then_  he finally opened his eyes to break free of his trance, to stand up and wave his hands in the air as hard as he could, even though Gou was doing her best to assist him while she was wailing in glee.

     Even though he cannot see anything–blinded for a year and a half and still counting–and he could only hear the ambient rumblings of everyone around him.

     Even though in reality he was just on his seat while being told of about what was happening in the pool, even though he was not the one who swam.
    
    
         Tachibana Makoto of Japan in lane five advances to the semis.  
    
         Heat 6 for Men’s 100m Backstroke coming up next.

     He was already drowning with content—because one way or the other… he had reached his dreams through Makoto.

     Their hearts  _are_  one and the same, after all.

—–

** Part II: MAKOTO **

     A year and a half ago, the brunet was just watching in silence as the other figure moved limply in the hospital bed, lips pressed together and arms crossed his chest. It’s been three days that Rin had been admitted after waking up without his vision, though in the first morning the doctors had already conceded to the fact that there’s no hope for that case: severe retinal detachment made worse by negligence and fly swimmer’s persistence to train. Naturally, hysteria had been the main problem on the onset, but after a while, Rin had resorted to not speaking to anyone at all—not even Gou, not even Haru, not even  _him_.

     In all honesty, he would have taken the shouting, the kicking and the curses held in wails. Anything but the total silence. The redhead wasn’t like this at all, and it was painful to his very core.

     To make things worse, Makoto was aware that Rin wasn’t blaming anyone. The walls the redhead built around him could only mean one thing; that more than the physical pain and exhaustion, the Shark was suffering from self-hatred and frustration as well. Insecurity. Paranoia. And he really didn’t know what to say to make things better for his lover.

     Nothing hurts in trying, though.

     “Hey…” The cushion sank when he settled on the edge, eyes carefully observing the other’s reaction with his proximity. He got a response, a tiny one, when Rin shuffled away from him and crouched to hide that livid face. “It’s okay… It’s just me, Makoto. And you really don’t need to talk back if you don’t want to…”

     He was lying, of course. Kami-sama knows how much he wanted to hear that deep yet confident voice that he even dreams about lately. However, he had taken it upon himself to hold back, to not give any other kind pressure for Rin when the other’s already tormented in the worst ways. Even right then that he wanted to reach out and touch the balled-up, trembling fists, Makoto had to restrain his arm with his own grasp—he didn’t want to give the impression of pity when it was not what he was feeling. It was agony  _and_  it was love.

     “You know, it’s not over… It’s just a small change.” He inched closer to hover his fingers in the red locks, touching them very lightly, enough to at least not startle the other. “You’re still…  _you_ … no matter what happens–”  

     “—don’t understand. Why are you even wasting your fucking time here.” For a moment, Makoto thought the scarlet orbs were focused to him when Rin bobbed his head up and clutched his shirt to shake him—then again, the emptiness on the other’s eyes were already a give-away; the brunet’s chest had a generous stinging.

     “I don’t understand! Why are you talking to me—it frustrates me! I don’t even know what the look on your face is! Are you smiling? Are you laughing at me?! Makoto, why don’t you just leave me alone?! There is nothing here anymore! I would never reach my dreams!”

      There was a thick pause in the air that almost killed them both before the Rin had dropped last piece of the block on the tumbling stack.

     “I–I won’t fucking… ever… see you again… How… Tell me…”

     He, who had still been blessed with his vision, saw how the first few tears of desperation roll down those cheeks he had been accustomed to lay gentle kisses on. If he were any younger, it would have slowly torn him to pieces and he would have held his breath while he panicked; but of course, it’s different now.

     He knew he was needed and he was in no place to break down.

     “Rin… You don’t always have to see with your eyes.”

     Makoto’s voice was shaking with his staggered breathing when his fingers laced on the fists that clung to his jacket, attempting to at least break down the first wall that was in between them. One hand he set to his side as he leaned closer, the other he had set against his sternum—right over the frenzy drumming through.

     “You don’t have to see me to know what I feel. Right here—it’s beating for you.” A light squeeze on the fingers, his face buried on the flaming locks, a familiar scent greeting him home.

     “Don’t worry about your dreams, we’ll find a way, ne. I’ll show you how we’ll make it through… watch me…”

_      With your heart _ , he added in his thoughts, and in response, the other pressed closer, tear-streaked face nuzzling him and making his heart skip beats every now and then.

     “…You’re the biggest idiot I’ve met.” Rin said between his sobs, words muffled by the other’s warm skin. “I… hate you for it…”

     Makoto chuckled sourly, torn between relief and fleeting emotions sweeping through him while he kept himself from tearing up as well. “I know, I know, yes.”

     Their hearts began to beat as one, from then on.

**Author's Note:**

> Also uploaded in my tumblr account -- rhapsodosu.


End file.
